Boo

I am having a dark Halloween. I am as depressed as I've been in a long time, due to financial strain and lonliness. It is a gorgeous, warm day, I have a cute little kid around and my beagle and cat, but very little hope about money. I have not been able to earn or work much, and neither has my husband. I am at the end of my rope. In the past, I've been very creative and I rarely give up hope on what could come around the corner, but at this moment, I feel hopeless, sad, angry, dismal, depressed and lifeless.

Blah

I hate being sore and tired unless it is from a good workout.
I hate violent tv, even slightly violent and being stuck with no where in the house to escape from it.

I Suppose I am a Meany

We have a small house with 4 kids in it, 2 adults, the belongings of our adult child, who moved to another city, a workshop, the contents of an art studio and an office, besides the normal bathroom (only 1), bedrooms, kitchen (no cupboards) and ancient garage (1-car, no door). If we don't keep things in place, or at least in the general areas they need to be, it becomes hard to get around, get dressed, and even harder to find anything.
The 3 youngest children came from a home where there was simply no order or cleanliness. Since they've been gone from their mom only 16 months, I think a sense of disorder gives them a sense of "home" that they subconsciously cling to. Plus, they are kids.
Recently, we reconfigured their rooms so there would be a place to put everything. On the youngest's drawers, we even labeled what ought to go into each one. He likes that a lot. He's become much better at making his bed. They even have their own laundry bags and do their own laundry at times.
The oldest is usually blind to any room issues. He can claim that he "never knew!" he was supposed to pick all that stuff [sister's shoes, his socks, brother's sandals, wee cars] up off the floor! What??? No one told him! No one told him he would have to put his clothes into a bag or basket and not scatter them all over once ready for cleaning. Poor, uninformed kid! Of course, I told him this many times, nicely, yelling, writing it down, but he is woefully uninformed.
The little girl just arranges things, which I totally understand, since I did that myself as a child, and truly thought this was the correct thing to do. It was unbelievably time-consuming, but it was also satisfying and developed my sense of design. I "cleaned" my room for hours. It was never done, and is not to this day. She still has to do the job, and no doubt does the usual tricks like jamming all her clean clothes into the laundry room as "storage," and shoving stuff under her bed, "forgetting" the stuff jammed in at the headboard, etc.
The worst part of this is that after I try to get them to make their beds before they leave for school, which they generally do, I ask them to pick up before they go to bed- well before they go to bed, like at least an hour. This is where they go deaf and I have amnesia. When it's time to tuck in, be sweet, give backrubs and kisses, read stories or say prayers to these guys, it's more like they get a visit from their worst nightmare. I am shocked that there are socks under the bed, clothing left right where it left their hands, games just where they were 3 hours ago and that the little angels have not been getting PJs on as I so foolishly imagined, but are huddled around a Gameboy [illegal! illegal! illegal!] behind someone's bed, in full daytime dress, maybe minus shoes and socks, with hip-hop playing in the background. I have no power after dinner, except for my voice, I guess, as well as my talent for hiding the DS in a new spot (my favorite being in their own room) while they endure a time without it as consequence.
I just hate yelling at them right before bed. "What were you thinking???!!!!! How could you think this is what I meant by cleaning your room??? I love you sleep good see you in the morning." Good thing they get amnesia overnight.

Get Three-Dimensional

For the most part, we have boys in the house. For my first three kids, there were two boys and one girl; same for the second set. Inevitably, the boys get hooked on screens of any kind. This melts their brain cells at a young age (7-12) and then it levels off to basically All They Do at an older age. Our 21-year-old got to the point where he could sit in his room and discuss important matters with Many People Around the World (as if this would impress me), listen to tunes, blog, write stories and do his homework, all at one time. He could be in there for hours, and I usually called him down for dinner, when he ate, by IM-ing him.
My husband was drawn into the video game when he was a teen, when all there was was Pac Man and stuff like that. When I bought my house in 1996, it came with an old Atari system, so he and his two boys would sit there and ignore the nice weather, the rest of the house, the state of the nation, etc. Fortunately for me, as the Systems in our house improved to Nintendo, PS2, XBox, etc., the games were too hard to play with against our son, and were no fun, and I got my husband back!
College came, and the Systems got moved to college, then sent back for the next set of boys. Boys usually come with More Boys. Red carpets were laid out, announcements were made and the almighty Halo game came in during a school break. I had a fit, and it left.
Today is Sunday. I am sick today (which is how so many posts have gone up today) and since the rest of the family endured a 2-hour adventist service yesterday, we missed our service, as well as a picnic after church. The 8-year old got a DS for his bd yesterday, so the day was started with that, then the on-TV Spiderman game, then onto online games as well as XBox games in the living room. Add the fact that the 12th grader had an overnight guest (another 12th grader) over to play games and they were up to 4 am. They just want food, space and electricity. But they share their games, tips, laughs, space, food and electricity with the young boys and the husband. It is a male bonding free-for-all and I just go to my room for a read and a nap.
It is now 4:23. I kicked the younger boys OFF ANYTHING at 3:00 and told them to go outside. Do anything, take a walk, eat out there, go to a friends, throw a ball, chalk on the sidewalk. You would think they were thrown in a trunk to die. Their faces are crumpled into 3-pouts-in-one and their arms are crossed. "There's nothing to do!" they cry. The older boys I let go. They are nearly adults, and they are not dependent on this for fun; they just like it. The cool thing is, since they are not dependent, they've given up their screens and are outside throwing the ball around now, while I am on my screen, next to my husband, who is on the XBox.

Have You Taken A Walk Today?

Harvest Time Although We City Slickers Ain't Farmers

I like this picture. Is he going to buy one pear and one apple? Will he share it with is sister with the cool socks?Does she already have some? What about that corn?

Yeah, We're Artists

We were in University Circle a few weeks ago, at the Chalkfest. I like how these guys let me drag them all over to do non-screen related activities.
We made some fun pictures and we hope to do it again next year.

Places like this (one of the gardens at the Cleveland Museum of Art) are so beautiful, and when you grow up around them, you can take them for granted. I think it is important to make some of these areas "home" to the kids. When they are older, I assume they will seek out beauty. I hope so. Beauty makes a whole lot of difference in our lives, and I think it is good to surround ourselves in it whenever possible. There is plenty of the opposite in our faces all the time, so we have to "stock up," I think.