A Week Later

So, what have I done today?
1. Drove the 2 oldest to school. They have been up and ready by 6:45 every day so far (that's 3 days), even if they fight brushing their teeth in the morning.
2. Took Dakota to Mom's for a shower. Our gas has been off for a week, so no hot water at home.
3. Stopped and bought Dakota 2 binders at Discount Drug Mart, which has the best price on binders.
4. Went home and had coffee and honeydew with Gene. Discussed our day, our weekend, our need to discuss money, our need to stay positive. He made the bed and the coffee while I was gone.
5. Moved the rusting bikes with flat tires out of their current positions in the driveway, pulling the bindweed as they moved. Moved the giant blue tarp that has been laying there in the front of the garage (the garage, not the garage door; that is permanently up in the ceiling for 7 years now) since mid-July as a backdrop to the screaming yellow SLEDS which have been there also. Looked at weeds. Felt overwhelmed. Went inside.
5. Noticed the dishes, which are not easy to miss, since they are all on the counter and in the sink. It's not as fun to do dishes when you don't have hot water. Felt blech.
6. Moved into the back porch with the laptop. It is the nicest and least distracting of my rooms. The cat joined me, sleeping in the rocking chair.
Then I tried to think of what it was I was supposed to be doing. That's taken me all day to get clear. I had to find a phone number, and figured it might be in the spare room, so I cleaned that up. Not there. Now it is probably too late to call. Did some marketing work, slide work, stuff like that. I am going to have to work all night to make up for what I did not accomplish. That is okay, as long as I get it done. Gene is at the golf course anyhow, since I had to wait for the kids to come home. Des got lost and I had to go get her. Dustin is still at football. He will likely go to Jack's. Des has one hour on the computer. Kota instantly wants to get on a Game Boy (an older game we had around). So, it is quiet.

I need a shower.

Not Sure What to Do

Days like this are my challenge. It is gorgeous out. Gene is going to work the golf course until 9. Kids are out playing and will be back. I've no clue what to make for dinner and need to go to the grocery store. Gene Jr. is moving to Columbus. Mom is at home. Dustin is tired.
I've had a rough week just worrying about money. I am so stressed out. I cannot work fast enough. But aside from that, I am so lonely for friends. I want to sit around with friends and do something fun. But I am stuck here waiting for kids to get back, who will ask for what to eat, who will want to play on the computer, who I will have to babysit. I need to get out so badly, but am stuck again, on a beautiful day, alone.

True Confessions

I OWN SEVERAL OLD MACINTOSH COMPUTERS.
I am not exactly sure where they all came from.
I do remember buying a Performa from Sears when I was mad at Gene in 1995 or so (pre-engagement). I think I was mad at him for either buying a car that was all wrong or maybe it was getting a ticket. It doesn't matter. The Performa is gone.
I got a G3 at one point, but don't remember buying it. Then I got another from a workplace that was tossing it. I think. Then I think my brother gave me one.
Gene, on whim, bought a G4 on Overstock.com for like, $400. It was perfectly fine, even for that amount. Somewhere along the line, I got an iMac Bondi. For Christmas last year, I got a PowerBook G4, also from my brother. Last week, he gave me another G4.
One reason some of these did not make it to recycling is because of the data still on the computer or on [O MY GOSH SALLIE FORD IS ON LETTERMANAND SHE IS A TRIP] them and I WANT IT. i had the strange experience of owning all these computers that had either non-functioning CD burners or none at all, so things did not get backed up on the latest methods. I have 2 External Zip Drives, 3 CD readerwriterwhateverstupidthings NEVER EVER EVER WORKED, a Syquest drive and I am pretty sure I threw out my floppies awhile back even though I could read them on the G3 if I wanted to, but I don't want to. I just want my artwork, as if it is important. As if it matters. I've lived without it all this time, but not really. It is in my MIND, IN MOM'S BASEMENT, REALLY. And I will get the artwork and post it on Facebook for some odd reason. I ought to be able to forget it, but I hardly forget anything, except what I am supposed to be doing a the moment.
This is really how I am.
It is also why I remember that I never really wrote my thank you notes from my fantastic high school graduation party, where I probably scored $850 in 1976, when that was a LOT. I assume people remember that I never sent the note. This bugged me through college, probably, though I actually don't remember, but heck, I know it now, right? I assume this is why I lost contact with some people, since I was then viewed (I assume, as if THEY EVEN THINK OF ME AT ALL, WHICH IS SO SILLY SINCE PEOPLE HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO THINK OF) I am such a selfish and ungrateful person.
Yup.
Write me in case this is true for you and I want to make amends.
Which brings me back to my computer story.
When I got married, my friend's friend who I was friends with at the time, took the photos. You are not supposed to do that-- you are supposed to hire a pro, and she was okay. The biggest bummer was that I did not hand the loaded video recorder to anyone until someone picked it up toward the end of our reception. It was an awesome wedding, a fun reception, a fantastic honeymoon that has not ended yet. I lost my job right before we got married, freelanced, went broke and never really paid the photographer very well. I did some trade work. I hope that she forgave me, I never forgave myself. So, to this day, I have never blown up more than one photo. I don't have a wedding album. I scanned my very favorites and started this ELABORATE booklet photo combo thingy that was going to go out to everyone and it would have a personalized thank you at the end. Wouldn't that be nice? Pics from the wedding, from the honeymoon, from whatever.
Yesterday, I unloaded the pictures from 3 Zip drives, and put it onto my current G4. I started posting some of the wedding pics. The rest are in the same exact drawer, in stacks, in the buffet, in the kitchen. This may be because I really am still on my honeymoon, and figure we got married a few weeks ago.
This now brings  us to tonight, when I was cleaning out the Giant Cupboard in the living room. I keep all my STATIONERY in there, for WRITING LETTERS, sending THANK YOU NOTES, and sending POSTCARDS. I have stickers and address lists and cards and filing systems. I haven't written a letter in Forever. I have a dear friend who has given me 250 pounds in art books, clothing, gift cards and things to sell online, but do you think I've written thank you notes to her and her mom??? No. I live on the Road Paved with Good Intentions. RIGHT UNDER A ROCK.
SO. I am going through the cupboard and cleaning up and organizing all These Things I Rarely Use but Think I Will, and I found a stack of thank you notes that Gene wrote because he thought my idea of the booklet thing was nice but it would take too long and let's keep it simple.
I thought they were mailed.
They were not. Some people have died since then.
Now you know. Let's hope confession is good for the soul.

Should I mail them?