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We are getting old

We hope to move to the Smokies one day. Gene is learning banjo and I started watching NASCAR. We ought to be ready soon. These are our neighbors-to-be, I hope.

I just love this

White and Nerdy

Can it really be March already?

Life has changed quite a bit since I work full time outside the home now. It is good, but different. I miss blogging, but I will get back to it eventually, just like weight lifting, cooking, cleaning, reading, traveling, etc. I must think I will live to 500 or something.

Drippy Saturday

Not blogging much because I found fulltime work.
We have an abundance of birds in the back today. When you open the door, it sounds like a jungle. I am not sure what most of them are, but there are large bunches of blue jays out there. It is like watching heavy traffic outside the kitchen window.
The rest of 2006 will probably go quickly. As soon as Halloween was over, the Christmas music started playing on the intercom at the stores. The decorations are so bright and beautiful, I like going to the stores at this point. I think I get more excited about Christmas now, than when it arrives. But I ramble. Gotta leave for work now.

She Who Makes No Sense

On Father's Day, 2001, 2 of my 3 stepchildren were packed into their mother's car and moved out of state, without warning, legality, communication or reason. When my husband went to pick them up for their summer visitation, he found their trailer empty. The youngest had just turned 10, the middle child was about to turn 12. The oldest child, was about to turn 14, lived with us, but was not even given a chance to say goodbye to his siblings or mother.
What do you do when this happens? First instinct is to call the police. The reply from the police is to call your lawyer. What if you don't have one? What if you would like to hire one but live 3 counties over from the courthouse you have to use? What if no one in your area wants to practice out there? Who do you trust when all the references you are given are local? What good does hiring a lawyer do when you feel your children are kidnapped? Who has time to shop for lawyers at a time like that? And, if you do find one, how will you pay for it?
In the meantime, where are your children? Will they call? Will they write? Do they need help? Will the stepfather that drove your oldest son off now be abusing the other two? Who cares about this problem? Who can help? If something illegal was done, who can help and how soon?
Well, we got a lousy lawyer. He was no help at all. He did next to nothing. The mother of these children simply got away with what she was doing by not being compliant. The judge ordered certain things, and she simply did not do them. Who was to prosecute her several states away?
Now it is 6 years later. The oldest, who went through great depression and healing, is now in college. The middle one has graduated early from High School, from what we hear. The youngest is mentally ill. The children were told, as the car was driving off from their old town, into their new, that they ought to forget their father and their brother-- they have a new life now. They were moved from one school to another (at least 6 schools in 5 years) and one living place to another, and this from a woman who claimed her ex-husband did nothing but move. She Who Makes No Sense also hops from one job to another, and this is also from a woman who claimed her ex-husband could not hold down a job. In reality, he's lived in the exact same place for the past 8 years and worked at the same place for 6. She Who Makes No Sense seems to think that whatever she has a problem with is not a problem. She simply projects what she does onto her ex-husband, and claims he does it.
Which leads us to today. Today she decided that it was her ex-husband's fault that her youngest was in the mental institution. Yet, it was SWMNS who decided to move these children away from their father, with whom they had a very good relationship. She has imagined that their father begged and bargained to have these kids move back, but in reality, nothing was brought up about the subject: he had so little time to visit with them on the phone, he would not bring those things up-- only what the children were up to in their lives and how school was. If the children made these other stories up, she has based her actions on these imaginings only. SWMNS seems to blame everything on a man who has not even had access to these children in several years. Even when she was in town, she had a way of acting as if crimes were committed against her hours ago, when in reality, she and her ex-husband had no contact.
It is our dream that the children will call, come to see us, and open up communication. My theory is that it is too much for a child to have to balance the two parents' personalities in their minds and that they simply settle for one, for survival's sake. As long as they try to pretend the other does not exist, they don't have to be in pain about missing their dad. I also believe that because the mother's personality is so strong and controlling, they simply want to please her and make up stories about things that never happened, especially conversations they never had.

For the Dedicated Couch Potato

You Want One

Giant Cement Birds

What a good idea

When will it change?

Mixed feelings

Well, we all have different feelings about this dreadful anniversary-- dreadful because we wish we did not have to commemorate ANYONE getting murdered by people flying things into buildings-- we wish they were ALL STILL WITH US-- But an Anniversary to be Observed, nonetheless. I am one of those people who will sit and listen to each name read, as long as it takes, although I did not have cable to do that for me this year. But each family has immeasurable pain, some with healing, some not. What I think about are the "in-between" people: partners who were not married and cannot participate in benefits or ceremonies, people who were severely injured and are suffering daily, people who still have not been able to find a single sign of their loved ones-- I think of you often and offer prayers for you, not just today, but during the year.
The NY victims seem to be focused on more than all the other locations of victims-- why the media does this is more likely a case of being right on the scene than for any other reason, but I bet some people feel forgotten.
I noticed the people who would rather forget are those who were at Ground Zero immediately, and could not let themselves leave, not even for a day. The smell of death and the images of horror are still fresh in their minds and they try hard to forget, daily.
Then there are those so far away from the locations, who are now fearful, suspicious and nervous about life. Next to them, we have those folks who are nearly obsessed with the attacks, and wear t-shirts, buy coins, photos, plates, statues, etc. that remind them and keep the crisis alive.
It is very encouraging to see the amazing healing and peace of many Survivors. I am always glad to see people who have been able to get to this point when they have the commemoration on TV.
I wish our global view had changed more in the media, but it has not. We still hear less about those overseas than about pop stars and their divorces. If you want to find out what is going on anywhere, it seems you have to watch BBC news and do your web homework. It does not help the general mentality of the country, though, to be still separate from the rest of the world. The event could have been a great springboard to intelligent reporting, but I guess not. Why can't they get it??
Personally, it is hard to believe the whole thing happened. I taped what was on TV for the first 4 days or so, but never watched them again. I saved it for "posterity." I saved magazines, did screengrabs, etc. but it is so hard to get around this horrible thing.

Kinda Recent Sketches

I made these on July 23rd.

Back to Blogging

Sometimes it is too nice out to blog much or be on the computer! Along with that, we went on a vacation to Kankakee, to visit my cousin and her husband, which was fantastic! A sampling of what we did:
Italian Cuisine at Uncle Joe's
Mariachi Monday at La Mex in Joliet





Tiki Night in their back yard






Birthday cruise on Maureen's pontoon on the river
as well as
a delicious homemade chocolate cake







Chicago style pizza, A fun night at Turtle Tap,









Fairy Night -- we attempted to make fairies for toadstools, but were not as familiar as we needed to be with using polymer and molds, but we did okay!
Chicago & Navy Pier, Rainforest Cafe,




the ferris wheel,





some putt-putt, a boat ride to see the skyline,





a train ride to get back!
Relaxing, junk-shop review, Chinese food, homemade chicken and dumplings, lots of sparkling and lite-up surprises, and a very fun house and yard.







I simply have the best cousin in the world and we both are blessed with really wonderful husbands.

You Don't Need a Lump to have Breast Cancer

There is more than one kind of breast cancer.
We have been taught and are reminded frequently by public service announcements and by the medical community that when a woman discovers a lump on her breast she should go to the doctor immediately.

If you don't have time to read the rest of this, please see this video of a news report on it (click on The Silent Killer).

Inflammatory Breast Cancer usually grows in nests or sheets, rather than as a confined, solid tumor and therefore can be diffuse throughout the breast with no palpable mass. The cancer cells clog the lymphatic system just below the skin. Lymph node involvement is assumed. Increased breast density compared to prior mammograms should be considered suspicious.

You Don't Have to Have a Lump to Have Breast Cancer.
Some women who have inflammatory breast cancer may remain undiagnosed for long periods, even while seeing their doctor to learn the cause of her symptoms. The symptoms are similar to mastitis, a breast infection and some doctors, not recognizing IBC, will prescribe antibiotics. If a response to antibiotics is not apparent after a week, a biopsy should be performed or a referral to a breast specialist is warranted.

Age 52:
Median age at time of diagnosis of IBC ... versus,
Age 62: Median age at time of diagnosis of Breast Cancer.

A surprising portion of young women with IBC had their first symptoms during pregnancy or lactation. The misconception that these young women are at lower risk for breast cancer and the fact that IBC is the most aggressive form of breast cancer may result in metastases when the diagnosis is made.

One or more of the following are
Typical Symptoms of IBC:

• Swelling, usually sudden, sometimes a cup size in a few days
  
• Itching
  
• Pink, red, or dark colored area (called erythema) sometimes with texture similar to the skin of an orange (called peau d'orange)
  
• Ridges and thickened areas of the skin
  
• What appears to be a bruise that does not go away
  
• Nipple retraction
  
• Nipple discharge, may or may not be bloody
  
• Breast is warm to the touch
  
• Breast pain (from a constant ache to stabbing pains)
  
• Change in color and texture of the aureole
  

View pictures showing common presentation of some of these symptoms.

Read what patients write about their own symptoms prior to diagnosis.

View a 4:23 minute video about IBC shown on NBC5 in Chicago.

Thank you to my sister for passing this info on to me from IBCRESEARCH.ORG.

I HATE Grackles-- They are EVIL

I usually love to watch the birds in the birdhouse outside the kitchen window. Each year they carefully build their little home and lay some eggs. In no time, we have cute little baby birds cheeping away, sticking their big mouths out each time a parent bird shadows the opening of the nest to feed them. So far this spring and summer, this has happened three times. Not once have we seen a fledgling, because the evil, awful, sinister, creepy, disgusting and noisy grackles, raid the nest, kidnapping and killing the baby as it thinks its mother is back with a snack. Now, on our third round of births, we have one baby left, and I for one, would like to sit out by the bird box to protect it from the time the sun comes up, until all are asleep for the night. I cringe to walk out in the yard to find the babies who have been murdered by these awful birds. So far I've found one, half-alive, one in the garden and one in the fountain. It is really spoiling my backyard nature experience. You could claim, that this is how nature works, but I won't buy it. These hoodlums are imports from way back, and don't fit into our ecosystem. (The same is the case with the sparrows they are killing, but the sparrows are cute). We are supposed to be enjoying bluebirds, goldfinches, jays, cardinals, etc., but you can hardly find them. We are overrun with these others. Instead of waking to the sounds of cardinals and chickadees, I hear the awful sounds of the grackles, and jump out of bed to chase them away. I realize this is crazy, and very likely ridiculous, but you know what? I HATE THOSE BIRDS.

This is all you get

Destiny did not want to smile for the picture, as she was not all that happy.

Mommy's Little Girl

Today I had to let go of my little Lady-Pooh. She had a horrible cancer in a really bad area on her body, hearing problems, cataracts, blood problems, blockages and there was nothing I could do about it. I am going to miss her so much. She was my little girl, my Pooh-Bear, my Fluff-Muffin, my Baby Girl. I also called her Princess, my Girl, Fluffy, Skinny Butt and Honey.
We got Lady Anastasia when we were picking up Gene's kids for the weekend. She was long-haired, matted, smelly and so loving. She immediately surprised us with how alert she was, how much she loved eating, how she could jump up into our bed and how she rolled around on her back and did her happy dance. Whoever "owned" her to begin with, ignored her and would not allow her to come indoors. When she discovered she was allowed to live inside, she was visibly grateful. When I decided to take her home, it was her big brown eyes that took me. I loved her so much, but more than anything, she loved me.
Where ever I was in the house, Lady was sure to be nearby. She came out to the garden with me, especially during tomato picking time. She loved tomatoes, beans, strawberries, and especially, oranges! I guess she was big on acidic fruits.
It is amazing to watch an animal be so grateful to you that she seems to exist for you. I spoiled her. I tried to make her life as easy, fun and happy as possible. I made sure she could always find me and had a cushion nearby.
Tonight, when we came home, it was hard to see the spots where I normally see her -- empty. I will miss her happy little face each day, the one that looked only for me (and something to eat). I love you, Lady Pooh and I will miss you so much.

Where is the Media Now?

The media has always made me crazy, especially when it comes to disaster coverage. When the tsunami hit, that was all you could see. After about 3 weeks, you would think all that rubble had been cleared up or everyone was okay, because you sure did not see anyone reporting on it. When the war in Iraq started, there was coverage about what was going on and lots of troop support. After President Bush gave the impression that the war was over, the media acted like nothing was going on any more, and instead of continuing to see pictures of soldiers and stories of families, they switched sides and acted as if no one should support the troops or know how things were going. Now, Hurricane Katrina has had the same treatment, but worse, if you ask me. Here are opportunities to serve and care right here on our own soil, but we have a media blackout as far as what is happening. We ought to have a weekly report! I can't even find a map to show affected areas, camps, needs, memorials, or anything. It's like it did not even happen. Here is a link to an article that I could find in the blogosphere, at least. It gives you a good idea of what is going on, in a small corner. Here is JUST PART of the article:

Ten Months After Katrina: Gutting New Orleans

It has occurred to us that our New Orleans is looking more and more like Baghdad.

By Bill Quigley

source: Reconstruction Watch Thursday June 29, 2006

We are still finding dead bodies. Ten days ago, workers cleaning a house in New Orleans found a body of a man who died in the flood. He is the 23rd person found dead from the storm since March.

Over 200,000 people have not yet made it back to New Orleans. Vacant houses stretch mile after mile, neighborhood after neighborhood. Thousands of buildings remain marked with brown ribbons where floodwaters settled. Of the thousands of homes and businesses in eastern New Orleans, only 13 percent have been reconnected to electricity.

The mass displacement of people has left New Orleans older, whiter and more affluent. African Americans, children and the poor have not made it back -- primarily because of severe shortages of affordable housing.

Thousands of homes remain just as they were when the floodwaters receded -- ghost-like houses with open doors, upturned furniture, and walls covered with growing mold.

Not a single dollar of federal housing repair or home reconstruction money has made it to New Orleans yet. Tens of thousands are waiting. Many wait because a full third of homeowners in the New Orleans area had no flood insurance. Others wait because the levees surrounding New Orleans are not yet as strong as they were before Katrina, and they fear rebuilding until flood protection is more likely. Fights over the federal housing money still loom because Louisiana refuses to clearly state a commitment to direct 50 percent of the billions to low- and moderate-income families.

Meanwhile, 70,000 families in Louisiana live in 240 square-foot Federal Emergency Management Agency trailers -- three on my friend's street. As homeowners, their trailer sits in front of their own battered home. Renters are not so fortunate and are placed in gravel-strewn FEMA-villes across the state. With rents skyrocketing, thousands have moved into houses without electricity.

Public housing has been boarded up and fenced off as the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development announced plans to demolish 5,000 apartments -- despite the greatest shortage of affordable housing in the region's history. HUD plans to let private companies develop the sites. In the meantime, the 4,000 families locked out since Katrina are not allowed to return.

The broken city water system is losing about 85 million gallons of water in leaks every day. That is not a typo: 85 million gallons of water, at a cost of $200,000 a day, are still leaking out of the system even after over 17,000 leaks have been plugged. Michelle Krupa of the Times-Picayune reports that the city pumps 135 million gallons a day through 80 miles of pipe in order for 50 million gallons to be used. We are losing more than we are using, and the repair bill is estimated to be $1 billion -- money the city does not have.

Public health care is in crisis. Our big public hospital has remained closed and there are no serious plans to reopen it. A neighbor with cancer who has no car was told that she has to go 68 miles away to the closest public hospital for her chemotherapy.

Mental health may be in even worse shape. In the crumbling city and in the shelters of the displaced, depression reigns. Despite a suicide rate triple what it was a year ago, the New York Times reports we have lost half of our psychiatrists, social workers, psychologists and other mental health care workers. Mental health clinics remain closed. The psych unit of the big public hospital has not been replaced in the private sector as most people in need are too poor to pay. The primary residences for people with mental health problems are our jails and prisons.

For children, the Washington Post reports, the trauma of the floods has not ended. A Louisiana State University mental health screening of nearly 5,000 children in schools and temporary housing in Louisiana found that 96 percent saw hurricane damage to their homes or neighborhoods, 22 percent had relatives or friends who were injured, 14 percent had relatives or friends who died, and 35 percent lost pets. Thirty-four percent were separated from their primary caregivers at some point; 9 percent still are. Little care is directed to the little ones.

The criminal justice system remains shattered. Six thousand cases await trial. There were no jury trials and only four public defenders for nine of the last 10 months. Many people in jail have not seen a lawyer since 2005. The Times-Picayune reported that one defendant, jailed for possession of crack cocaine for almost two years, has not been inside a court room since August 2005 despite the fact that a key police witness against him committed suicide during the storm.

Just Whatever

Now it is summertime. No coats to wear, no windows to shut, no socks.
Our son graduated from High School, and with any luck, we still hope to see the other two kids some day. It has been 5 years now. Gene is looking for work to earn $$ for college as well as for a camping trip to Gettysburg with 3 other buddies, much inspired by his Uncle Dave's trip out west after HS. NOW he is more serious about getting that summer job... Whatever works!
In the meantime, my husband continues to learn to be a salesman, something I think he has a knack for. We have a couple of good things that may come of it. I played secretary today and typed letters of info, thank yous, faxes, etc. Tomorrow it is back to making glass jewelry.
Wednesday and Thursday we gather to say goodbye to and celebrate the life of one of our dear friends at church, Clarence. He was rarely sick, but bacterial infections got the best of his lungs. I really thought he would make it. He was 70. Too young. My dad was only 72, and so was Bill and Frank all of which passed last year.
I wake up in a lot of creaking pain from killing my back last year and from a couple of falls (and maybe arthritis?) this year. I want to wake up and swim or work out, but I just haven't gotten there.
The Brookings made it in town and out. They look great and got around to all the people (almost) who wanted to visit them. We had a great creek walk that was marked by a mysterious buck in the woods and a hail storm.
My pup has cancer but is doing well. She is as sweet as ever.
I've NOT been to the pool yet! We have not had a whole lot of sunny days since it opened.
I miss singing.
My studio is an ignored mess.
The garden is beautiful. I had to call Ultra Lawn twice to be sure they stop shooting their chemicals into my poor garden while they "service" my neighbor's lawn. I freaked out when i first saw all those pellets. I started picking them all out one by one. My goliath aster seems to be taking it the worse. Those things go right through the covered fence.
I found out what happened to ALL THOSE SUNFLOWER SEEDS! Nothing had been coming up, so figured they were bad seeds, Heck, none of the holes seemed disrupted! But we have shrews or moles in the yard. They stole them thru the "basement" and buried them so deep, it took until just yesterday to finally see them sprout! They were all in little bunches in the garden, evidently forgotten in storage. I spread them around and hope to see them all grow up and bloom. I got red and cream colored ones this year. I guess the rest of them better be sprouted indoors...
I would love some DQ right now.
Goodnight.