Disappointment & Hope at Christmas Time

 This is the time of the month-- a week before Christmas-- that I realize that none of the things I was hoping to do by this time will be done: No cookies, no parties, not the greatest decorating (or avoiding it altogether), no trips to the beach instead of staying in town, no Christmas letter, no cards sent out, no money, no gifts purchased, wrapped and placed under the tree that my husband just bought a few minutes ago.

The beginning of the season was hopeful: a nice Thanksgiving, complete with decorations brought out by our tiny nieces; I went to the lighting of the square downtown

(by myself) and that was fun; a nice craft night the first week, with lots of friends at church creating angel lanterns.

My sister came in town from Tennessee and we had a great time at Mom's house celebrating early. Then, last weekend, we had a lovely "instant pageant" at church on Sunday,

which was super fun, and went to a magical wedding in West Virginia and enjoyed the beautiful light displays at Ogelbay Park and the company of family.

We've received many nice cards in the mail and yesterday I was treated to a beautiful, delicious and special breakfast with four close friends.

But gosh, they say the holiday is about giving, and I just never feel I give enough when those other things are not done at all. I have a hard time feeling like I am ready or into the whole thing rather than just watching like a spectator and a "taker."I guess I am not, actually, so I need to figure out why I feel so. 
To top it off, I usually get my winter cold due to the pressure I put myself under, the exposure to all the germs, and to my awareness that there is less daylight, and more ice and slush. That cold kicked-in yesterday. I am thrilled it took this long, but wish we could have held off another week! 
I guess all this coincides with the End of the Year... That time you get to realize all the things you did not get done, not just for Christmas, but for the year. But I am not going to think about that right now. We did a lot of good and wonderful things this year. I will leave the review for another post.
The end of the year also reminds us of what a year our friends and families had, and what we went through. We started a new business, we saw a child off to college, we got through difficult things. We lost friends to death. We saw hard things and wrong things happen in the world. We keep turning to God for answers and for comfort, and He comes through. That is enough for now and for every day. We live a day at a time and sometimes for a moment at a time.