Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Life These Days

I will use the word "I" several times here, and I know it.

Things have changed quite a bit over the last 3 years. We took in Kristina's kids over 3 years ago and are still enjoying having young kids, as unplanned as it was. The kids are all really great. They are kind, interesting, funny, and have a lot of life. I got to stay home the first 3 years, and started working in October. My life of going to the pool, cleaning house and wondering where the money was going to come from have come to an end. I still wonder about the money, but not nearly as much. Getting a paycheck answers that, although we are still not out of debt. We are working on that and we are almost done taking the Financial Peace course from Dave Ramsey. Now to apply it regularly.
Gene has an additional job also. It helps so much to have him home, and his job is on the phone from home also. God has supplied so much to us, over and over. We are very grateful.
I have to drive 28 miles to my job. It is worth it, but I do get concerned about the vehicle, and want to get something more economical. I get really nervous now that it has started to get cold and snow. I am worn out when I get home.
I got a job doing something I did not know I could do, but I am doing it. Again, so grateful.
I miss seeing Mom, as it is so hard to find any time to stop by now.
I miss my kids, but they seem to be hanging in there. It helps having a good babysitter.
Many days I cry as I start towards the freeway. Not a real cry, but I shed a tear. I have a hard time leaving the house. It takes me all morning to leave.
I spent two days cleaning stuff out of the house last weekend. I just have to clean up the living room and then I can get the stuff downstairs for Christmas. I brought out some lites for the kids to use upstairs. They love it. I will unplug them when they are asleep.
Dakota is still having trouble with peeing in his room. I don't know why he started it, along with lying about it afterwards, but it is so gross. He was sick all Thanksgiving. He has been sick since school started, since I started working.
My room is a mess. All my clothes are either old or don't fit. I have a couple items that are new, but not much. It will take me some time to catch up. I hate my hair, hate how fat I am, hate how pale I am. I am tired, sore, and don't sleep well. During the weekend I think I will catch up a little, but I am usually just enjoying life or resting or putting time into the house instead of myself.
We have a mouse in the house now.
GJ lives here, too. He just moved his girlfriend out to another house.
We all miss Joshua.
I miss hanging out with any of my family, Chrissy, Don, Bon, etc.
I want to have people over and wonder when.
I need my floor washed and waxed. It has been a long time.
So, no baking is going on, no beautiful decorations, nothing yet. We will. I overdecorate, usually.
Gotta go.