Sunday, December 30, 2012

So, here we are again, with a fresh start before us. It's actually before us every day, but a new year seems fresher, perhaps because our options are fewer, with gardens in dormancy. It's all basement studio, organizing, taxes, exercise and such, until I lose the memory of my goals. Things always seem to get better, but they don't seem to change much. They really do, but we don't feel it. I have new things to read, new friends to call and develop relationships with intentionally, old habits to re instill, since they worked so well the first time, more space, closed doors, maturing children, limits, snow, birds, family, escapes, vitamins, and things to read and write. Doing something outside the norm is usually good, too. Leaving behind lists that never change would be smart. People and relationships need to be up-front, though, because even if all your ducks are in a row, relationships are the pretty blue pond they need to swim in.
Speaking of, I am spurred to write today while I am working in my new studio because I am thinking about a couple of relationships and about forgiveness and letting things go. We had a party last night, and several old friends came, as well as some new ones. It was refreshing and encouraging. Some people you can talk to sporadically and pick up where you left off. Love is there, trust is there, stories are there. Others you can see often, but never get to know. Relationship takes work, commitment, work, desire, trust, some silliness, and forgiveness. They are two-sided and are only as healthy as the individuals involved. And sometimes people don't want to be friends-- they are afraid, and seem to have their little pond filled. I can only hope and pray and try to be healthy in my thinking and actions toward them, rather than change to fit in.