May is a month of celebrations in our circle here. My friend's birthday starts it off (she was out of town), our anniversary is next (a day of flowers, jewelry, dinner and surprises), then another milestone anniversary a week later (he had to work), then Mother's Day.
As I get ready for work, all I can see is all the work I have here at home. That's not good-- I need to look at things differently. But the bathroom needs remodeling, the studio still needs a door, the doors we were joyfully picking out at THD were never purchased, every bed in the yard needs to be dealt with, the floors need to be washed, bills need to be paid, cars need work or replacement, and laundry never ends.
And I am supposed to put myself first-- work out, create veggie meals, get the family meals planned and purchased, take kids to all their appointments, figure out how to get them new clothes, clean rooms no one can figure out, reminds everyone to do their chores since they can't seem to remember, pray for everyone, take walks, work out, buy myself something new.
We really don't have money for most of that.
Oh, yeah, put myself first. De-stress. Find friends. Do your passion.
Um, yeah. Of course I believe in that. What will I have to give if I don't take care of myself?
Blogging is part of that. Drawing is part of that. Not coming directly home and going to the river is part of that. Ignoring all of the above and going down to my studio is part of that.
But we are so disconnected here. No one does anything with anyone except Des and Dakota reading and watching their stories and sharing. I get out with a kid here and there.
Support group for me? Hmmm.
I got one Happy Mother's Day from the oldest kid on the phone. Another from the oldest boy here, in person. No cards, no dinners, no thanks, no breakfast in bed. If we did not have the Mother's Day at church, none of them would know there was a day for that. I spend most of it with my own mom, after I did all the things that had to be done for the kids, the yard, the food, etc. for my teens, who stayed here at my house with their own mom (I am their aunt, who raises them) and their 2 baby siblings.
Mom, Dave, Bonnie and Bob all gave me a card :) It turned out to be a good day for me, but it is kind of sad.
