Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pressure

I need peer pressure in my life. With no peers, I don't care what I wear, what my house looks like (after awhile), what I am eating. Yes, I do care to an extent, and I keep on track for the most part, but the extra information that someone is watching me, is helpful. Maybe that is why I blog. It's definitely why I am on Facebook.
I've been reading a few different books for a few years. Though I am taking my time and haven't finished a one, they have been contributing to my growth and development-- the slow pushing me out of my bad habits. One is The Creative Habit by Twila Tharp. Thanks to reading that book, I've got a space now to work in, one that actually does promote creativity and accomplishment. Another would be Overcoming Underearning, by Barbara Sanny. A third is How to Be a Grown Up, by Stacy Kaiser. Of course, the Bible is a staple.
I'm taking the time to prepare a couple entries for an art show. I've wanted to enter it for years, and am never ready. Tonight is the last chance to enter, and I have to have the stuff up there by 7-8. It's also Desi's birthday, Dakota's award night and Dustin's tennis match. I don't have a gift (though she got some earlier) or a cake yet. I figure we have to have cake after Scouts? I need a shower. I'm nervous.
I'm too picky, maybe. I was educated to have certain standards-- what kind of tape, frame, glass, etc. and am tempted to talk myself out of it because it is not perfect. But it is just an entry. Doing that much is a big deal, whether I make it or not. I need the pressure.

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Driving Hope

Today I woke up from a dream in which I was driving a pretty big jalopy. It might have been a Rolls Royce without a top. It was cream-colored and I don't think I enjoyed it and I know I had one passenger, trying to direct me. I came down a fork in a road, rather than approaching one, and chickened-out when it came to merging. I instead stopped in front of a sign with the intention of letting others pass on my left while I figured out which way I was going (though I had no choice anyhow). The sign turned into another vehicle, which I crunched into and the traffic which could have passed me pushed me along instead. We were in Cleveland, on a bridge, with many levels of ramps and buildings all around. We got into traffic at last and then I woke up.
Last Tuesday we drove down to Athens and had a very nice visit with friends in their new, simplified house. I've known these friends since we were all 18, and love them dearly. I left them with quilts passed on to me from another of our Athens friends. Then we all got back into our cars on Wednesday morning and made our way through West Virginia, Virginia and Tennessee, ending in Gatlinburg. The hills were steep and I am glad the car made it through all that. That same route was the scene of a 75-car pileup a few days later, due to incredibly thick fog.
Destiny was sick the whole time, with a cold. The indoor pool was not worth the extra effort and cost; it was too small and crowded. Gatlinburg is really kind of overrun and worn. Too many people. It was fun to watch the kids' reaction to the very wacky sights in Sevierville and Pigeon Forge, but I would rather focus on the national park and the crafters. The hype and commercialism is so over-the-top, but I think it's fun to have the kids see stuff like that at least once. By the time we drove  home, we were pretty tired, my hips were sore and I had picked up Desi's cold. Gene had to do most of the driving and it was a long day. Everyone was happy to sleep in their own bed again. Easter was the next day and I missed the service from the cold and slept all day. Kind of a bummer, it being my favorite holiday.
Yes, of course that's the Titanic.
I slept a lot, trying to rid myself of the cold since Gene was scheduled for surgery on Wednesday. Gene Jr. came up from Columbus and took him and sat with him since I was too germy. I missed the whole thing and stayed in bed.
Meanwhile, my friends had to meet people to see if there is any chance of keeping their newly adopted daughter.
Another friend had chest pains, back pain, a blod clot, cancer and then died at 67-- all in a matter of days.
Another friend was about to go leave and golf with a buddy, who died of a cardiac arrest. Then he himself fell and broke several ribs.
Another friend fell and broke her shoulder. Another went to hospital for possible pneumonia. Another one was still in hospital for other things. Another got a knee replacement, right after her step dad got total hip replacement. And then Bob died before we left and his service was today.
At least little Andrew, 4 BEAT HODGKINS LYMPHOMA this week. Thank God.
And my husband did really well in surgery.
And Dakota did NOT have lice, as a hairdresser assumed, seeing his scratches dues to his eczema. I spent all day cleaning, combing, buying stuff to clean and comb, and NOTHING. She was wrong.
I got a new vacuum out of it.
It's nice to be home and nice to have Gene home. Time to buy charcoal, clean out gardens, have some hope. It could be worse.