What a day

I am really having to fight today. I feel like a failure about to fall off the end of the world. I am in the basement, on and off this computer, but still, again, working on clearing this place out. It seems like that is all I do, is purge. How can that be? If that is all I do, how come it never goes away? Well, it does get better and clears out. But I just want to get it to a "finished" state, where I am not completely surrounded by junk and boxes of Things Unfinished. After cleaning out the Things Unfinished, Things Not Paid For, Things Completely Ignored side, the Office, then I go to the other side of the room, my studio, which seems to be a monumental tribute to Lost Potential, Missed Opportunities and When You Used to Have a Life. Gee, I can hardly wait to dig in.
But the End of The World part is not the mess and all those Shame Departments, it's my Very Late Mortgage. There are lots of reasons, a few reasonable and many not. I don't want to move, don't want to lose my house, don't want to have more regret. But for now, I am sad.